Scary Actions and Scary Consiquences

This post is probably the deepest one that I have ever had. A girl that I know has been posting suicidal things on Instagram and Facebook. I figured that she was just unhappy about her life. I never figured she would actually attempt to kill herself. Then last night I came across a picture that she posted. It was of 20 or so pills all spread across her bedspread. The caption said, “This is the hardest decision of my life.”

We are not exactly close. But coming from a leadership conference last week I decided that I had to say something. I commented saying, “When times are tough just remember that your life is worth it. That you may be going through a rough patch but that patch can be your inspiration to launch you into bigger and better things. You may not feel as if your life is worth living but trust me, it is. You were out on this earth for a purpose and remember there are people all over who love and care about you no matter what!” It may have not been the best response but it was all that I could think about. I got into the shower and that was all I could think about. By the time that I got out and looked at my phone I saw five missed calls from Emma along with some text messages. She saw my comment. And the girl was not answering any of her calls.

Now I know that Emma and I have had it rough. This girl was my best friend for basically my whole life. And there was a little tension that seemed to creep up whenever we were together. But at that moment I didn’t care. I didn’t care that she was an awful friend to me. That she took one of the only guys I have really liked. All the reasons our friendship ended were no longer important. There was a life at stake. And someone’s life might have depended on the two of us.
Emma and I drove down to her house as soon as we possibly could. The two of us were out of our minds. We pulled up to the house. Her upstairs bedroom light was on. Emma and I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. The chimes filled the silent night. No one came. A few minutes passed. We rang again. And again no one came. I grasped the door handle. The door was unlocked. No one just leaves the door unlocked. And her family especially didn’t. Why would someone leave the lights on and the door unlocked?

Emma and I were in frenzy. We were torn between going inside and calling the police. We asked everyone we knew for her sister of mom’s number. No avail. We were at her house for a half hour before the neighbor across the street finally came home, even though it felt like years. I quickly ran across the street. The neighbor called up her mom. The neighbor acted as if nothing was wrong. The way that she avoided my eyes made me feel otherwise. She went up to the house and locked the door and told us that we should call her tomorrow and that she was not home. And that was the end of that.

As Emma and I were in the car on our way home I was finally able to get a hold of her sister. She answered the phone on the verge of tears. I asked her if she knew what happened but she was not home. She was at her boyfriend’s house. All she heard was that they were taking her to the hospital and that was two whole hours ago.

As of now she is okay. She did not take enough to kill herself. But she did take enough to be taken to a bigger hospital. She is staying there for a couple of days. I hope that everything will be alright. To everyone out there who reads this: suicide is never worth it. I bet every teenager out there has thought of what would happen if they died. But it is never worth it. Hard times will come. But for every bad time there will be even greater times. You might just be ending your life before you realize all the great things that God has in store. No matter how you feel you should push through it. And maybe you are not doing it for yourself. Maybe you should do it for everyone around you. You may feel like no one out there cares about you. But I promise you that people care. Your family cares. Your friends care. You may not have family or friends but there is someone. I care about you. I think you are important. And that is not a lie in any way. You are important. You just don’t know it yet.